by Emilie Glen Colsted

Identifying our unique qualities

When we experience feelings of inadequacy, we may tend to focus on specific negative thoughts or events. In these moments, we are not seeing the full picture.

You can think of it as a flashlight in the dark. You only see that which the light is pointed towards. In the same way, we tend to primarily register negative events and pay less attention to the neutral or positive ones. This is called the negativity bias.

This makes it hard for us to recognize our qualities and so our self-image becomes more vulnerable to negative thoughts and comments. However, simply being aware of this bias can help us actively turn our attention towards the more positive information and on our unique qualities.

In moments like these, we can say out loud some of our qualities to ourselves in a mirror.

It may feel a bit strange or even difficult to list qualities about ourselves, but simply naming these qualities can help us feel more empowered and improve our self-image.

To make it easier we can try to think about qualities others value in us or take a characteristic we don’t like and try to view it differently.

E.g. we can turn a negative thought like: “I talk too much” into “I am eager to connect with people”.

If you want help with finding your qualities and learn more ways of dealing with self-critical thoughts, then try out the tool: Find your Qualities