When we experience feelings of inadequacy, we may tend to focus on specific negative thoughts or events. In these moments, we are not seeing the full picture.

You can think of it as a flashlight in the dark. You only see that which the light is pointed towards. In the same way, we tend to primarily register negative events and pay less attention to the neutral or positive ones.

This makes it hard for us to recognize our qualities and so our self-image becomes more vulnerable to negative thoughts and comments. However, simply being aware of this bias can help us move our attention to more positive information and shed some light on our qualities.

It can feel a bit strange or even difficult to list qualities about yourself, but simply naming these qualities can help you feel more empowered and improve your self-image.

To make it easier you can try to think about qualities others value in you or take a characteristic you don’t like and try to view it differently. E.g. turning a negative thought like: “I talk too much” into “I am eager to connect with people”.

If you want help with finding your qualities and learn more ways of dealing with self-critical thoughts, then try out the tool: Find your Qualities